


Fire and Tears

by Nivisrenee



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Depression, Eventual Relationships, I'm not sorry, It's taking everything in me to not make this smut, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Starts out with some serious feels guys, Suicide Attempt, Tadashi comes back, you better than be for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5932051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nivisrenee/pseuds/Nivisrenee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Tadashi's death, Hiro spiraled into a depression that no one could get him out of. After much to long time to his own, Hiro decides it's just too much for him. Meanwhile, someone is lurking in the shadows, watching the boy. Waiting for just the right time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first every work here! I've written before, but never posted, so we will see how this goes! If you all have any requests as to what you want to happen, let me know! I may actually put them in and, of course, give you credit. I'm a major Hidashi shipper, but I'll try to keep that out of this story as much as possible. Don't hate me if it appears somewhere. Just say "Look, Ren, Your Hidashi is showing." Other than that, I won't be doing any real relationships in here. I'm trying to focus on Hiro more than anything. I

Pink sunset leaked in through the closed curtains of the room, striping Hiro’s upper torso. He sat alone in his room, a feeling he didn’t think he would ever get used to, and wished he didn’t have to. Downstairs talking could be heard. The low murmur and the somber mood, it was downing him more than he needed. The room felt cold, and the air was still. The whole house held its breath. Hiro couldn’t take it, but it wasn’t his choice anymore. He couldn’t bring Tadashi back. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much is they had found the body, then he would at least say goodbye to his face. But, the building had exploded. Any remains burned in the fire before they could put it out. Hiro was only left with two things: his memories and a hat, which he kept close to him at all times. Aunt Cass tried to cheer Hiro up or at least get him downstairs for the funeral, but he refused with a cold shoulder. He couldn’t face them, any of them. It was…too painful for him. All the sad faces and people talking about him, it made Hiro mad and strangely jealous. It was only two days ago, and it already seemed like this brother was slipping through his fingers.  
Hiro looked up at the small picture frame on his desk. Inside was an old picture of him and Tadashi when they were little. Hiro had just gotten a new action figure and Tadashi was telling him about how the amour would work, if it were real. But he couldn’t make that, not yet. It was his brother’s big idea, and Hiro didn’t have a need for it. It was a waste of time anyway. All this inventing and working to make amazing things or upgrade old ones, it didn’t seem to have a point anymore.  
A few hours later, after everyone left the house, Hiro decided he should get up before his butt fused to his chair. Taking one more look at the photo, he stood and walked over to his bed, then flopped down face first.  
Footsteps approached the door, followed by the sound of the door swinging open. “Hiro? Sweetheart?” Aunt Cass asked, the concern pouring out with every word.  
“Mmm?” Was all Hiro could get out with his face having been buried in his covers.  
There was a long pause, as if Aunt Cass was trying to get words out but couldn’t. She finally mumbled a quick goodnight and left the room, closing the door behind her.  
What felt like hours passed before Hiro summed up the strength to move, but he wasted it on a move that had great consequences. He lifted his head and rested his right cheek against the warm fabric, looking into the darker part of the room, Tadashi’s half. Even the light refused to accept he was gone, avoiding the area to help Hiro imagine that he was still laying over there, curled up under the blankets, snoring softly. Hiro’s heart raced as he got a small sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, he had suffered a bad dream. That he would climb off the bed, go over to the divider, and see the outline of his brother’s strong built body popping out of the square shape of the bed. But, just as he got to his knees and started to reach out to grab the edge of the bed, his heart sank. The shadows lightened as he rose, and the bed’s outline was straight, not a fault in it. A hole formed inside Hiro. This was it, the last straw. He couldn’t take it anymore. All the emotions, the hiding his thoughts and feelings from others, it all came crashing down on him. Hiro collapsed to his elbows, and he wept.


	2. Cold Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro wakes the next morning.  
> The first wave of depression begins to hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a super short chapter and I'm sorry.  
> I honestly wasn't going to have this be a running story but hell, why not.  
> You guys seem to like it.  
> So have fun with it.  
> I won't remember to post chapters unless you all comment, cause then I get emails I never delete...  
> If you want something specific to happen, I may write it in. Just comment it.  
> I'm super tired.

The next morning, Hiro woke with a terrible neck pain. He had left from his shoulders up hanging off the bed, and managed to leave a pool of drool smeared between his cheek and arm. It was sticky and warm, and probably the only thing that forced Hiro out of bed as he remembered the night before. There was the distant sound of chatter coming from downstairs. The café must have been opened already.  
Hiro sighed. At least they could carry on normally. He padded his way over to the bathroom. Even with the pure white blazing light, a dark haze still loomed at the edges of his vision. It burned his eyes to have them open. He didn’t care. He had felt worse.

The shower didn’t do much to help either. The absence of his brother telling him to hurry up kept him in there until the water ran cold from him depleting the hot water. It didn’t take long, though. His back was blood red and stung from the burn. The cold soothed it. He didn’t want to be soothed. 

He just sat there at the bottom of the shower, hugging his knees to his chest, staring into the void of his emotions. The upstairs was so empty now. He felt it. He felt the emptiness. He had had to live with it for a bit, but the funeral must have made him fully realize it. Tadashi wasn’t coming back. Hiro was alone now. Tadashi had so much to teach him, but now…

Parents shouldn’t have to bury their children.

Younger siblings shouldn’t have to bury their older sibling either.


	3. Hiro's Revelation Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiro finally realizes that maybe he doesn't have to be alone in his grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been seeing you guys asking me to update! Don't worry, I didn't forget about you! Life has been crazy, BUT I will be putting this on a set schedule! As of now, I will try to update this story on the 11th of every month. Schedules always work, right???

With the rush of school finally gone, Hiro’s friends were still pestering him to join class. Though, Hiro still didn’t feel like they were his friends. They were Tadashi’s friends. When Tadashi had left, they took him at a replacement. At least, that is when he felt like. He had stopped the bot fights, too. Even with there being an obvious lack of a fatherly unit in the house, Hiro still felt a reluctance to fight. He felt a reluctance to go outside, to be honest. He didn’t want to see others. He didn’t want pity, he didn’t want comfort.  
He wanted his brother back.   
Hiro sighed and buries his face into his arms. Water ran down his chin and a bit managed to flow into his mouth. He let it flow. He didn’t move. Maybe if he froze, he would freeze time. Not have to keep going forward.  
Hiro was fully aware of his depression. He knew all the symptoms, knew that he could stop it with a long list of support groups and medication pulled up on his computer.   
The truth was that he didn’t want any of that. The truth was that he was that he was a child. He wasn’t even tall enough to reach the top shelf of the fridge. He had so much to learn, so much to see and do. Now, the one person who could do what his parents weren’t able to was gone. Would he never be allowed to grow up?  
There were times when Hiro thought that he was overreacting about this. That he was getting too upset, too hurt by this. Then he remembered that Tadashi and Aunt Cas were all he had, and now Tadashi was gone and he was pushing Aunt Cas away because he didn’t want to upset her with seeing him like this.  
Hiro blinked and looked up at the blank wall in front of him.  
Maybe… maybe he should go to Aunt Cas. She lost Tadashi too, and she would be the only one who truly knew how much this hurt… Maybe Baymax was right about the whole being surrounded by friends and family thing. But, instead of friends, he needed Aunt Cas. He needed to feel some warmth, real warmth. Real understanding. Someone else to cry with… and not be judged or told to get over it...


	4. Back to that Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else started college this week? Also, happy new year! With the new year, I will be keeping up with my once a month update schedule. Also, I will be starting other stories within the category of Homestuck and Harry Potter. If anyone has any other fandoms that they want me to write stories about, just comment and let me know! I may also be updating more than once a month, but you will for sure get an update on the 11th of every month!

Once out of the shower, Hiro made his way downstairs. Aunt Cass didn’t bother to ask him what was wrong. She knew. Everyone knew. The apartment still hung with a grey cloud. Shadows in the corner of his eyes took Tadashi’s form as he leaned against the kitchen counter. He needed to eat. Not because he was hungry, but because he knew his body needed it. Aunt Cass was already downstairs getting the café open. He started to raid the fridge, but inside were all of Tadashi’s favorite foods that Cass hadn’t managed to throw out yet. To be honest, Hiro wouldn’t have the heart to throw them away. Or the stomach, apparently, as he rushed to the bathroom to be sick. Hiro couldn’t understand how an emotion could make him feel to physically destroyed. So sick. He didn’t want to admit to himself that he was depressed, but he knew that he was. He knew deep down that this pain would never go away. He wanted to join the college before, he wanted to make amazing bots… He wanted to make Tadashi proud. But with his muse gone, he had no clue what he was going to do with his life. Tadashi kept him going. Kept him happy. Tadashi was basically his father. Now the apartment seemed so empty, even though this would be the time Tadashi would be in class anyway. However, the thought that Tadashi would never come back home again made Hiro’s spin and he collapsed back against the counter. Knocking some of the contents off on the counter, he pulled himself still as he hoped it didn’t alert Aunt Cass to the fact that he had left his home. After a few minutes, there weren’t any footsteps on the stairs and chatter fluttered up to Hiro’s ears. He relaxed, but only slightly. His head constantly felt clouded, eyes never seeming to focus on anything. His body felt heavy, yet he felt like he never really touched the ground at all. The air around him tingled with electricity.   
“I can’t do this anymore…” He hung his head, closing his eyes. His chest emptied of all air, head went dark.   
“Do what, champ?” Hiro’s head shot up. Was that…?  
But as he looked around the bathroom, he was still alone. It… must have been a vivid memory. A very painful, vivid memory.   
Whatever will Hiro had to function that was put down almost instantly, but he forced himself to go downstairs to the café and out the front door. Aunt Cass tried to talk to him, but he just kept walking and let her voice fade away as he entered the street. Different sounds and conversations drifted over to him, but he didn’t listen to them. He only let them brush past as he walked down the path that led him back… back to that night. Maybe, if he could just see the building again, maybe he would get closure. That’s what he needed, right? Everyone online said that people need closure. Messages from the gang, and even the few times he had started Baymax. Everyone said that he needed closure. Maybe it would help. Help get this pain to go away. The sun was shining, but the heat against his back was agony. It burned into his skin, warmed his chilled bones which never managed to stop shaking after that rainy day at the funeral.


	5. Return to That Night (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was at a friend's house last night and wasn't able to update, so here you go! You'll be getting another update very soon! Also, if I have any Homestuck fans here, I have another fanfiction called "P.S. We Didn't Survive". It is a zombiestuck fanfiction between Dirk and Jake. 
> 
> Your comments keep me going! Thank you for the comments and kudos you have been leaving me. They give me a swift kick in the butt.
> 
> Also, who else is excited for the second Big Hero Six, coming out in 2019?!

Hiro hadn’t been to the building since that day, yet his feet knew exactly where to take him. Aunt Cass had urged him to go to the grave a few times, but that wasn’t where Hiro felt close to his brother. The body wasn’t even there… It wasn’t anywhere. He felt Tadashi at the ruins of the ticking time bomb that stole him from Hiro…

No time seemed to lapse for Hiro as he walked the familiar and yet strange path. It wasn’t a home to him, but it was burned into his mind. The area was still marked off. The city didn’t know what to do just yet with the remains. They were trying to decide if they would rebuild it or level the land. They were even considering just selling off the land and letting whoever build whatever they wanted, but it was technically on campus. Ruins of the building still stood, the few parts that made it through the explosion and fire. Glass was scattered within the building, everything inside was ashes. Hiro hadn’t meant to stand where he did, but it was the only place he could see the building for the way it was…

Tadashi seemed to stand right before him, facing Hiro. Fire raged behind him, wind blowing wildly. “Callaghan is in there. Someone has to help.” The fabric of his jacket slipped from his hand as Tadashi pulled away and ran up the stairs and inside…

If only he had said something more… Something to stop him. If only Hiro had held him off just a little longer. The building would still be in ruins, Callaghan would still be dead, but… But Tadashi would still be here. He would still be making robots like Baymax, still nagging Hiro for procrastinating everything and wasting his time bot fighting. If Tadashi were here… Hiro would be able to feel again. 

Hiro stepped forward, his feet guiding him up the stairs, under the police tape, and into the ruins of the building. The inside was complete darkness, despite the warm sun beating down on the back of Hiro’s neck. Something about the building felt instantly wrong. The police didn’t even bother to consider trying to find evidence that Tadashi had made it out. They were sure that he had died in the fire. Hiro, however, didn’t feel like he had been disconnected from his brother. Even now, being in the building again, he felt like he was even more connected. They had cleaned out the inside of the building, not wanting anyone to come in and try to steal any remains of the works that had been left in there after the fire. Hiro had no fear that the building would collapse in on him. He wouldn’t mind it. He could die in the same place his brother supposedly did. 

Walking around the first floor, his eyes didn’t focus on anything. The floor and walls were all the same color. Burned remains of massive stages and fallen ceilings all blended in. Hiro’s chest felt hollow, empty. He felt as though his body and his mind weren’t on the same page. His body wanted to sit down in the rubble, try to imagine what Tadashi lived with through his last moments. Was he scared? Did he suffer for long? 

Hiro glanced around the room.

Are your ashes… still here? Mixed in with the soot? Did they catch in the wind? Are you even here anymore?

Tears built up in his eyes. 

He really would never get the chance to see his brother whole again. He would never get to cling to the body as someone pulled him away. He would never get to scream and cry, refusing to let his brother go. He would never be able to break down. Not anymore. 

“You’re… dead…” The words slipped off his tongue without his mind telling his mouth to let it. He hadn’t managed to bring himself to say it before. He didn’t even think about the word now. However, something about being here solidified it. Something about this building, seeing the body of what it once was, broke his imaginary world that he could live in where Tadashi had made it out alive. 

Hiro crumbled to the ground, his chest building with pain. He forced his mouth shut, but let his tears mix with the ashes on the floor.


	6. Hiro's Revelation Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you guys get frustrated that I don't post as often: I know. Finals week is next week. After that, I'll be off school until next semester starts and I will be posting much more often. I've honestly had writers block when it came to what I was going to write. After talking with a few friends, we managed to find a kind of far fetched idea as to how Tadashi could have survived.

Hours later and Hiro was still there curled up against a large piece of fallen stone structure. Unable to cry anymore, he sat with his eyes closed, knees to his chest, thinking. He couldn’t stitch together his memories well enough to find when he had managed to convince himself that Tadashi was still alive. He desperately wanted to go back to that time. He regretted coming to this place. He regretted letting himself come back to reality. 

“Come on little buddy, don’t cry.” 

Hiro looked up. Tears pouring down his cheeks, vision blurred. “It hurts!”

Tadashi chuckled and knelt next to Hiro, moving the bicycle aside. “I know it hurts. Trust me, I’ve been there. But it won’t hurt forever.” He pulled Hiro close. “It’s just a banged-up knee.”

Hiro pouted. “Stupid bicycle. Why do I need to learn to ride this thing anyway? I could just get a scooter.” He glared at the bike.

Tadashi laughed. “Yeah. You do. But you have to learn to balance on the bike first. And you have to learn to control it first.”

“I have great balance! And the scooter is easier. It goes for me…”

“Yeah. True. But when if your scooter breaks down? Then you won’t know how to get to school on a bicycle.”

“Yes, I will…”

Tadashi stood, setting Hiro back onto his feet again. “Hiro, look at me.” He brushed Hiro’s hair back out of his eyes. “There won’t always be something… or even someone… there to help you get somewhere, or get through something. You have to learn to manage it on your own, even if it hurts in the beginning.”

Hiro rolled his eyes. “Do you always have to turn everything into a life lesson?”

The elder brother laughed. “Yes.” 

Hiro shook Tadashi’s hand away. 

“But, I’m serious. You may not always have someone there to teach you and help you.”

The younger hesitated and looked up at his brother. “I’ll always have you though… right?”

Tadashi smiled and messed his hair. “Yeah. You’ll always have me.”

Hiro blinked his tears away, looking back down at his ash covered shoes and legs. Twilight made the structure cast nightmare like shadows along the floor, the concentration of ash giving them features that made them more fearsome, but Hiro wasn’t scared. His mind was racing for the first time in a long time. Counting the seconds between then Tadashi ran into the building and when the explosion happened. Counting the number of exits. Putting himself in his brother’s shoes. 

Hiro stood quickly. “No… You’re not that stupid. You wouldn’t flinch. You wouldn’t leave me.” He bolted to the front of the building, out the doors, then turned and stared at the entrance. After taking a few breaths, he took large bounds up the steps and into the building, counting the seconds as he went. Once in the building, he glanced around the room, evaluating the area, remembering the layout of everything. 

He counted. “One. You look around for Callaghan.” Looking around the room, he stopped.

“Two, you see him.” Hesitates and heads forward, still taking the large steps that Tadashi would have easily managed. 

“Three. The explosion starts.” Hiro stopped, looking in the direction of where the explosion would have taken place. 

“Four, you realize the danger and look for cover.” Hiro struggled to remember the inventions around him. After a moment, his eyes stopped on the area to the left of him. After a moment, his heart feels as though it completely stops. His mind goes blank.

“You… you clever jerk!” Hiro turned and bolted out of the building, running until his lungs were burning but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEEP UP WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA!  
> Snapchat: Nivisrenee  
> Instagram: Prematurecosplay & Nivisrenee

**Author's Note:**

> It's a super short chapter, I know. I'm sorry. Please don't kill me.  
> Again, if you want anything specific in the story to happen, let me know and it may actually happen.


End file.
